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It gets mixed. I lost one client through "e-mail never arriving" - but issues that were never demonstrated to me. On the other hand I have had e-mail never arrive on a couple of occations - but always where there had been an identifiable issue with the server. I don't consider receiving a problem.
As for sending, ther are two options: route through my ISP, or route through HostNexus server. Risk of going through HostNexus server is that you can be banned because of your originating IP (even though that could be forged in the forwarding SMTP server) of because of the HostNexus mail IP is on a blacklist. If I send mail to videotron.ca (which I do regularly) I havea 50/50 chance of it getting through via my ISP, but practicaly 100% is I route through HostNexus (even originating IP from here!). AOL/Hotmail, however, are the other way round.
At my previous job, mail regularly failed to arrive without any explanation. Not sure where the block was, although our IT department were not exactly hot (and I've now left there). But they had their own SMTP and IP for sending mail. They also got blacklisted - and they are not an organisation to send spam. It's a joke - any not totally their fault.
It's really is swings and roundabouts. I don't think there is any "luck" until e-mail protocols are improved such that spammers can be more easily tracked and stopped. And that's going to take a major shift.
Dedicated e-mail servers (such as gmail / hotmail) etc are always going to have the most reliability in receiving and sending as that's what they do. But even if you run your own SMTP server, expect it blocked, or so overwhelmed with SPAM that you filter legit e-mails by mistake.
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Rob
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For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
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